Saturday, February 13, 2010

I sit, and think, and smile, and a tear appears

I sit here tonight, after a very full day. I am watching the Olympics on TV, so wanting to move to Vancouver, but everytime I watch the Olympics, I want to move to where they are !!! I am so glad that Chicago didn't get the 2016 Summer Games. So my day and how it ended here. . . .

It started with a most wonderful walk with my dear friend Laura around Green Valley - - about 5 miles for 1 hour, 45 minutes while our kids were at swim practice. It was a beautiful day, and I could not have asked for better conversation. It was needed, it was therapeutic, it was enlightening, it was healing, it was . . . well, it just was. Thanks Laura.

Then I came home, and thought I was going to crash and nap, but I got the weird itch to wash my wonderful new car. . . she hadn't been washed in months due to the actual winter weather we are having. (Did I ever tell you how much I love weather, rain, snow, wind, etc. I love it all.) Anyways, my OCD kicked in right about the wash was done, and it wasn't going to be just a wash, it was leather seat conditioning, full vacuum, inside/outside windex, shampoo the carpets, and scrub the tires and rims. Then Tom came walking home from swimming at the new pool and said, hey why don't you help me with my truck !!! UGH. . . .

Then it was Costco. Because if I didn't go then, I knew if I sat down I would fall asleep and be done. So we - - and I say we because I just so dislike when Tom joins me . . . we spend atleast twice as much as I was planning. And this time we didn't disappoint !!! Gosh, I seriously need stock in Costco. . .you would already think we do !! Started with a cart, left with a flat bed. The checker dude was like - wow, you got all of this in one cart !! Yes, yes sir we did. . .do you think you can get it back in one cart - - no ma'am, no I can't, you need to go get a flat bed !! Oy Vie !!!

So now, with our load from "the world might end tomorrow", it was 1 hour of unloading, repackaging, vacuum packing, garbage loading, and trying to keep the dogs from eating my ribs !!! Then dinner, then finish unpacking, and now. . . . here I sit !!

Balancing the checking account - always depressing. . . doing the bills - next on the level of depressing . . . and my eyes turn to the TV. As the master of the house lies near, snoring loudly, the princess of the house is curled up next to me on the recliner, the "buff dude" as he likes to be called - hee, hee - is upstairs with his buddy Buddy and the other mutt Gunner is at my feet - - again, my eyes go to the TV.

The Olympics are on - - I cry. I remember watching the Olympics every year it was on with my family - whether summer or winter. I remember the agony of defeat on Wide World of Sports. I remember the Hamil Camel and my Dorothy haircut for the next 3 years !!! I watch. . . I watch and see the parents, I see how PROUD they are of their kids . . . I see the moms wiping tears, and then I see the dad wiping their tears !! My heart feels so much love for those parents. I see the 5000m ice skater RUN, LEAP over railings, CLIMB over cameras to get to this mom and dad not 2 seconds after he knew he won Gold !!! Wow, so much love, so much respect.

So on the eve before Valentine's day, I sit here with tears in my eyes. Someday, will I know how much my kids love me. Someday, will they be able to show me - - not publicly, but privately, when it is just us. Right now I am the mean one, I am the punish-er, I am disciplinarian, I am "the fun sucker !"

I said this on facebook the other day. . ."it is about my kids & only my kids, always has been, always will be . . . it is why I get up in the morning, it is why I breathe, it is why do and say the things I do !!! If anyone thinks there are other motives let me correct you now - - - IT IS ONLY ABOUT MY KIDS !!!!"

I love you kids. . . I love who you are . . . I love who you will become . . . and I WILL be there to see all the good, bad and ugly moments !!

Happy Valentine's Day Tom - - Thank you for planting these seeds, they are pretty cool !!!

Life is Good . . . .

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